This past week has felt like Im dying.
Pains, aches, turmoil, anxiety and again pain.
That large black cloud is fast approaching.
I feel too ill to run.
Muted unable to explain.
Just pain. Physical and emotional
Drained. Can I please switch off ??
I am done.
Seeking a human being.
You have to have empathy and feelings.
You have to care and need to please.
You have to want me and fuck me…
And love me.
I give you my heart, look after it.
Forever …… 💓💓
Part 2 is just a load of shit.
Until I got married at 23.
Life changed to another hurt …
Big hopes but should have known better.
Life fucks me over again ….
All my life I have felt this.
Left and alone.
Made me Lonely.
No human can get close.
I have always felt alone. My dad left. My mum struggled with 3 of us. Her partners, family, death. I had to grow up quickly. But I always felt alone. Close friends on a weekend doing things with their parents but not me. Left alone as my Mum worked. Lost and alone…..
Here is a question.
What came first?
Titedness, anxiety, depression…
I have all of the above
Need to work out ….
What came first ?????
I can help keep the boredom at bay
Pass your time when life is boring
Pity me for thinking I was more than a time filler
Broken time piece is all I am now